Dear Tics -

You completely suck. And I'll tell you why. You see, I actually thought with all my healthy cooking, supplements and Epsom salt baths that I was going to keep you at bay.

I was so convinced that I was mastering you that I even dedicated an entire blog to how to defeat you.

And most days, yes, I wage a pretty good war against your crafty little empire of blinks, eye rolls, shoulder shrugs and occasional vocal "hmmmms" that make me want to run for the hills with a bottle of Two Buck Chuck and a set of 1970's headphones.

But here's the discouraging point - the extra large bullet POINT part that shines a light on my little narcissistic self who thinks that because I'm Stink's mom, and I love him so much, I can take you down. But somedays, no matter how hard I fight, I can't win.

Nope. No matter what I do, you're going to take over Stink's face when you want to. Regardless of how much sleep I give him, or how many enzyme pills or probiotics he so willingly takes from my hands, if you feel like throwing in a nasty head bob moments before his videotaped Xmas show, then by golly you will so I can remember it for all eternity.

Which leads me to doubt my claims that I have control over. you. "Ha ha!" you seem to snark at me. "You have no power. Stink's good and bad days are simply the normal waxing and waning of tics."

Perhaps you are right. I know that all of Stink's Western medicine doctors who would rather medicate him would agree.

But deep in my mama gut, I know that a healthy diet with exercise and some good vitamins is waaaay better than watching a zillion hours of television and ingesting Taco Bell combo plates like they're going out of style.

And so, dear tics, you might be powerful on occasion. But you won't bring me down. I will always win. Because "Mama Gut" will take "Nasty Tic" down any day of the week.