I am ready to start contributing here some more. Those of you who found me over at BabyCenter, I'd appreciate you keeping the conversations over here now, only because who knows how long BabyCenter will keep that link up. At least I can control my own blog! (Ah, control, the power. If only I could control my son's tics with a big fat remote. Zap! Twitches be gone!

All I can control is giving him the best food out there, lots of love, and seeing my boy beyond the occasional twitches.

Someone who just wrote to me is Rocio. She wants to get pregnant. Her husband has Tourettes and so did her brother growing up. I asked her to comment here about her brother and husband's experiences growing up with Tourettes as well as how they are doing now.

Just in case she paints a harrowing picture - I have no idea about her story - rest assured that there have been TONS of advances in meds, diet and behavior therapy. One person's struggle is not necessarily going to be your son or daughter's. There is so much more we can do.

Let's try not live in fear of these darn tics. Our kids are perfect! If we can produced positive, healthy, confident kids (who sometimes tic) that's more than most people can brag about, right?

And so, Rocio, type away! Let's hear your story! And anyone else, what do you want to learn the most about? I'll try to guide my posts toward your needs.

More of my writing can be found daily at BabyCenter and Good Housekeeping.



 


Comments

Rocio

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:04:00

HI

I live in Costa Rica, where we speak spanish, so you'll have to excuse my grammar errors.
I'll tell you the story about my brother who died in a car accident back in 1992 and my husband who I married a year ago. Both of them with tourettes.
I 'll start with my brother: he grew up with no signs of tourette until he was 16, when he developed a terrible case of tourettes (he hit his chest with his fist, he would grab a key to hurt himself with it, his eyes were constantly shut, and he passed his hand around his face while doing strange noises with his troath. Growing up with him was very painful to me and all our family. When I took my friends to the house they asked me what was wrong with my brother and I never knew what to say, I didnt know what tourette was.That was back in 1987 . At that time he was trying to graduate from highschool but his ticks were so disabling that he couldnt attend to classes. Even tough he was an excelllent student , the director wouldnt let him attend to exams bacause he wasn't going to regular classes.
Years later he graduated from College as an accouter. My aunt gave him a part time job as an accounter in her office. It was hard for him to have relationships with people his same age, he never had a girlfriend and people would stare at him most of the time. Then back in 1992 he took my dad's car and died in a car accident.
A year ago I married my husband who I just realized has tourettes too.
But he has nothing compared to my brother. He clears his throat, who at first I thought was just because of his allergies. He moves his head from side to side, which I tought it was just because he was stretching.
About six months ago I read an article about tourettes and realized my husband has tourettes too! My husband works as an engineer and has friends, and a normal life.
Both my husband and brother were born with the umbilical cord around their neck, my husband is very allergic and my brother was too. I dont know it it has some kind of relationship with tourettes.
Now I want to have a baby but... I am so scared! Dont know what to do, since I read tourettes is inherited.
Thank you for your advice.
PS my brother was the smartest, intelligent and most trusthworthy men in the whole world. As my husband is.

 

andrea frazer

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:42:21

Rocio - Thank you for your response! As I mentioned before, I don't think the umbilical cord has anything to do with Tourettes, but we'll see.

I'm curious if your husband thinks he has Tourettes? Did he nod, blink or or clear his throat as a young kid? If so, did it bug him?

Back then those were often seen as signs of "character" - oddities that made kids kids. Now we label everything. Again, I'm glad to have a label because I know how to proceed, but honestly, it is very fear inducing because only recently are people learning that TS is not so debiliating.

Rocio, I am sorry about your brother, also. And I do hope you'll try for a baby. If down the road he has TS, I can tell you two things 1. There are so many medical advances, it might be a non-issues, not to mention diet can help so much 2. TS is NOT the worst thing. Compared to cancer and so many other things, I'm so grateful to God Stink only has some tics. He's the best kid on the planet.
My job is to make him happy, and I'm succeeding in that, so I have to let the other stuff roll off my back.

THANK YOU ROCIO!!!!!!!!!

 

Lynnie

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:32:27

Hi Andrea and Rocio...

Rocio, so sorry to hear about your brother. Also, things were so misunderstood back then. I am grateful that there is so much more information out there about there these days. It's "coming out of the closet" so to speak.

My brother also has Tourettes, and now so does my 8 yr old son. My son, Brendan, is only mild but my brother did have a moderate case.

My brothers TS has never openly been talked about, which is sad. He's 52 now and is nowhere near what he was a tenneager. I don't even feel like I can discuss it with him because it was a taboo subject when we were growing up. The only reason Mum and I know he has it is because many years ago I saw something on TV about it and decided to research it. Little did Inow then that my son would also have it.
I have 4 siblings but only the one brother has it. I have 5 children, but only one has it.
If I had realised before having children that this is a heridtary condition, would I have still had kids?? YES YES YES. Without a doubt. As Andrea said, it is not the end of the world, and there are far more milder cases than severe. We only really hear about the worst cases because obviously they are the ones who are more affected.

My brother has so many friends {I'm jealous of his social life} he is well respected, and has been married twice to lovely ladies. Those marriage breakups had nothing to do with his TS. He is still good friends with them too. He is also a very honest, funny person, who can make everyone laugh with his sense of humour. My kids adore him though we don't see him too much.
So having TS isn't a picture of doom and gloom. My son has heaps of friends and makes friends very easilly. {something I always had trouble with lol} There is so much I admire about these 2 males in my life and I can't imagine my life without them. I am blessed.

Rocio, what ever you decide about children, I hope you make the decision that is right for you.

Lyn.

 

Rocío

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:14:28

Hi !
I really appreciaty your answers!!
My husband had those mild syntoms you mentioned when he was younger, but it didn´t bother him. I told my husband if he knew he has tourettes and he didn´t know . He called his mom by phone to find out about it, and his mom told him that a doctor said he had tourettes when he was 7.

I think I¨ll try to have a baby, that is my dream. I read tourettes is less common in girls than in boys. I was reading on the internet ways to have baby girls. I am very excited about this! And if he or she has tourettes I guess I"ll live with it!

Andrea: does anybody in your family has tourettes?

Thank you Lyn and Andrea

Thanks

 

andrea frazer

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:40:46

Hi Rocio -

I wonder why your mother in law never told your brother? The labeling?

Anyway, I'm so excited you are going to consider children. And yes, boys are much much more likely to get TS than girls. But either way, you'll be fine. Promise.

As for if others in the family have TS, I never knew of any in mine, nor did Rex. But now Stella, who has a column here, says she was fired for making throat clears (TS) and she's a very very very active person, which is common in TS. And Rex clears his throat and twitches his arm when he drives. That could very well be mild Tourettes, so you just don't know.

And that's the point. So many people have TS and just don't know, perhaps like your hubby. TS doesn't have to be scary.

Please keep in touch. Much love and luck to you! Andrea

 

Lyn

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 12:50:14

Hi... I'm so happy that you're thinking of trying for a baby. There is far more blessing in that than not having them, believe me.

I agree with what Andrea has said, alot of people can't trace TS in their family... but then they find out about those relatives who have certain little twitches that nobody worries about... and that could well be TS. Don't be put off by the severe cases you hear of, as I said there are far more mild ones.

Interestingly, my brother never had children {not because of his TS} but he mentioned to our mother a couple of years ago that if he had his time over again he would have had them. So here he is now at 52 wishing he'd had children. I find that sad. He would've been a great father, too.

So I wish you all the best... even though my time of having babies is over {it had to stop somewhere lol} I still envy those who are having them. I think I am one of those women who were meant to give birth every year just to satisfy my inner cravings for children. lol

But I thought to myself... 5 is enough!!! ha ha

Love to all,
Lyn.

 



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