I won't lie to you. I am on a spiritual path that has kept me relatively fear free the past six months. I'm also on 100mg of Zoloft which I take about five days/week. (About six months ago, I had finally hit the wall. Everything came crashing down on me - what I couldn't change in many areas of my life but didn't want to run from either. I needed a little pick me up to keep me from running naked to the Bahamas and never looking back. Though that last option sounds good even on sane days. But I digress... see, Zoloft does not stop me from rambling.) While my dosage of anti-anxiety is relatively small compared to the 400mg I could be taking, I've found an even profounder source of strength from my weekly Bible studies and regular doses of prayer. Perhaps more important than the prayer, even, is the meditating I've been doing. Someone once said, "If prayer is talking to God, then meditating is listening to Him." For someone who could easily write 5 blogs/day, it makes sense that listening to God's voice, not my own, has been crucial in my life journey. Some people come to my site simply for tic info, and that is fine. I am not a Bible thumper nor do I find my way the only way to go. But I felt I had to share this side of myself with you to make sense of the next nugget of info. Yesterday, out of the blue, someone contacted me. She had not read my blog in 3 years, but my wonky face popped into her head. After doing some searches for Pip, Stink and Tics she found me again. She emailed me her story - a very similar one to mine - and I told her to call me. (Which is odd. I don't normally hand out my phone number to strangers, but it felt right. The "Spirit" moved me, so to speak.) She called a few hours later and within moments I knew this random Southern voice was a kindred soul. Why she called a few weeks before I had to decide on meds for Stink I don't know, but I'm grateful. She turned me onto a program that worked for her own son, swearing she was not affiliated with it. I believed her. Why? Because I'm on this path of prayer and I feel God led me to her for a reason. AND her story made sense. It rung true. It felt like another path for me. Long story short (are my stories ever short?) I'm going to look into her recommended "Brain Balance" program this week. This book is a good start, apparently, and can explain better than I can the concept of brain balance. The idea is that certain sides of our kids' brains are unbalanced, causing anything from tics, ocd, adhd, add and more. By doing certain eye and movement exercises, we can help them stimulate certain parts of the brain and help rewire it so the imbalance is not so strong. A large part of the program involves diet and supplements. Given I've already been on this journey for 5 years starting with my holistic Doctor Carroll (hello gluten free/caesin free/and supplements) and this lifechanging book by Dr. Jay Gordon, her call felt like a bow on a present that has been five years in the wrapping. I am going to call the Brain Balance center today. We have one 15 minutes from my house. I am skeptical in a way (after all, it's about six grand and who has that kind of cash laying around?) but I don't think this kind of business would be able to thrive without referrals - positive referrals where children were helped without drugs. The old Andrea would second guess all of this nonsense. Why would I do this now - right after seeing a top UCLA T.S. specialist? The devil on my shoudler would scream, "You don't want an answer, do you? You simply enjoy chasing your tail and driving your husband mad - is that it?" But the faith filled Andrea of today is following her instinct. She is going to follow it over to the Brain Balance Centers as soon as my cold ends and get back to you all with information. And, should I choose to enroll my son as a last option before drugs, I will be following my way into a temp agency where I will be working part time to cover the expenses. Thanks for listening everyone! What do you all think of a program like this? Would you look into it or do you think I'm just one of those crazed L.A. hippy moms who can't admit my kid is just going to be a bit different from a neurotypical child? * Picture taken of a sign at the UCLA parking structure last week before our big T.S. meeting. I had to laugh. Do you all think that our pervasive need to live "perfect" lives comes from messages like that one? Can a parking structure really be perfect? Can our kids and ourselves really be perfect? I think not, and yet, we choose to keep going after that elusive golden ring and find ourselves in frenzies because of it. Isn't it time we give up on the idea that our child must be "x" to live a "perfect" life? Once we can let go of our perfectionistic notions, we can more logically see what we're dealing with and decide on our path, whether it be Brain Balance, drugs, supplements, prayer groups, social classes, none, all or whatnot. Confused? Don't be. You aren't going to answer it all in one day. One step at a time? Perfect. Commentsjoy 11/08/2011 12:19
For what it's worth, your plan sounds right on the money to me. Read some excerpts from the brain balance book and it does seem sound. going to order the at home program (for a start). There is actually a center about an hour from me, will consider that in the future (you're apparently much more proactive than I- and thank you for that). 11/08/2011 14:39
@ Joy - I am a gift from God, as well as a gift to every thrift store and Starbucks within a five mile radius of my being. Hey, Andrea...I'm still here. I haven't blogged in waaay too long because I've been babysitting an infant the past few weeks and it's kicking my behind, but I'm still here and try to catch up whenever I can. Pam 11/11/2011 21:36
Brain Balance sounds wonderful and makes sense....I'm going to look into it too. My daughter's tics are quite managable with diet, but the OCD is crippling :( DON'T want drugs. Thanks and keep us posted! t Leave a Reply | TICKED OFF: TOURETTES TALK 
I write weekly for the New Jersey Center for Tourette Syndrome blog. Come visit me, and other awesome parents, for some daily support!
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