Rex and I don't spend as much time together as some couples. While I am thrilled we are not so co-dependent as to check in every hour about whether almonds or a granola bar would be a better choice for a vending machine snack (Yes, I know those couples) a few mid-morning calls just to say "I love you" wouldn't suck either.

Sometimes, like getting a cold, we don't realize how little time we spend together until we're knee deep in sniffles and coughs and are then forced to co-habitate for hours on end on the same sofa, complaining and whining and moaning (and not just about our runny noses.) Two hacking spouses do not a romantic ensemble make.

It's not that we don't adore each other. And Lord knows we need each other. But it's kind of a like a flu shot - the antibodies are ultimately awesome for your wellbeing, but it hurts like a mother when it's first administered.

But... and here's the fun part of the flu shot and our marriage - when everything is great, it's awesome! And we always wonder why we didn't do this sooner. I remember the beautiful man I married, the wonderful father and the practical day to day rock that keeps my crazy balloon from soaring too high into the atmosphere, getting caught in telephone wire or being pooped on by a passing pigeon.

Today we got a babysitter and visited a city near by. Then we got dinner at an old standby (because too much newness in one day would be crazy.) Then we came home and walked around the neighborhood, admiring the Xmas lights.

As we turned toward our house, Rex commented, "You know, we should really walk more. It's nice."

Me: "How about we do it tomorrow during lunch?"

Rex: "How about we do it every day for lunch?"

Me: "How about we do it Monday Wednesday Friday and get used to the idea of being in shape and being connected again before we get completely insane?"

Rex: "Cool."

Then we came home where he proceeded to play with our new AT&T internet and I did my blogging.

As he would say, "It's all good." And as I would say, "It beats the hell out of the flu."

 * Photo of my son at my mom's Thanksgiving gathering. I wish I had a full body shot of him. He was so joyous that night - putting crackers in my booty and then laughing so hard I thought he'd cough up a lung, all the while slapping his knees like an old man who just won a game of chess.




 


Comments

Gretchen

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:27:52

So true. Taking each other for granted is part of the maturation of a marriage--not always in a bad way, though. I think we do this because we're so deeply connected. Sure, we need to fan the flames, go on dates, and nurture each other, but the beauty of a truly good marriage is that you can trust the ebb and flow. I know haters can comment that I'm not "affair proofing" my marriage this way, but really, if we don't have trust and comfort, there's little for which I'd want to fan flames. Great post.

 

his girl

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:04:23

I love that you love your husband.

and I love that you embrace those times when it's necessary to just be a couple.

you guys are so cool.

miss u.

 

ms chica

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:06:43

I think not seeing my husband everyday makes it easier to miss him and therefor appreciate him...mind you if their little ones around it wound be more stressful. Its easier to manage the emotions of one than three...

 

Sprite's Keeper

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 08:03:21

That sounds lovely!

 

Karin

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:57:26

AHHHH. You made me cry.

 

Jacqueline

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:04:57

Oh, I love the happy dance!! Reminds me of Snoopy's happy dance :)

 

Heidi

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:17:44

I know...When Bryan was working 2 jobs I forgot how nice it was that he was there on the weekends with me...If nothing else, I had someone to feed the baby while I got my dose of coffee so I was slightly less bithcy

 

Deb

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 19:11:43

I think you and Rex are our dopplegangers on the West coast. I LOVE my husband - adore him - but if he called me ten times a day, I think I'd kill him. A little recharge every few weeks does wonders for your marriage. And it's YOUR marriage. Just because we aren't all lovely dovey, kissy huggy all the time doesn't mean my marriage is better or worse than my friends. It's ours. It works for us. And we're still together, we still love each other and life is good. So what could be better? =)

 

phd in yogurtry

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:45:40

walking together is entirely underrated. it's our one free, regular escape, unless one of the kids' gets a wild hair and decides to roller blade with us.

 

Dapoppins

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:56:34

My husband doesn't have an ipod, but he does hog the computer...and it has been a while since he has typed the right button on me...

hehehe.

My husband has an artist brain...I have to remind him that his 3 sons are more physical than he is...they need contact sports ...he would rather play a gave with them on the play station, or even a board game. Anything so that he can sit down. How do I get him to teach the boys something active? When you figure Rex out will you let me know?

 

dapoppins

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 10:53:05

I have to tell you. Persistent begging and a little guilt helped get my husband out of his sit-down groove.

He played La Crosse with my youngest son.

Outside.

With a ball and everything.

 



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