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TOP 5 REASONS I WISH I WERE AN IPOD

5. My husband would communicate with me all the live long day.

4. He would push my buttons over and over and I wouldn't even want to yank out his chest hair piece by piece.

3. I could mess with his mind. Ex: He Googles RX 7 motors, I spit out Anne of Green Gables on You Tube or the Little House on the Prairie DVD bonus packs.

2. When he was Mapquesting directions to a tech convention, I would insert a roadmap to either Disneyland (where I'd be waiting with mouse ears and fishnets), a Burger King (their coffee is almost as good as Yuban) or a thrift store (If I'm feeling extra cheeky.)

1. I could change all his saved "Favorites" to my most treasured bloggers, giving him more insight into the female brain than Bill Gates has into the Ipod. He might be wondering why he's using the words Pook, Praise Jesus, ass wipe and lurve at his business meetings, but I'm sure the female staff would adore him, including HR who would give him a raise, allowing me to get my very own home office! Now if only I could really get this 6'1 bod into a teeny Ipod. (That rhymed! Going to sleep. I can't handle myself anymore. And if Rex handles that Ipod much more, he won't be able to handle me either.)

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