This might be hard for ya'll to believe, but here's a teeny weeny insight into the depths of my Zoloft stained soul: I'm kind of chatty.

Like, "I love people" kind of gab type.

As in, "Let me talk up the bartender while on a date with my husband and find out the scoop on his ex-wife, his current girlfriend, his three sons (one possible with a different daddy... can't be sure but he's paying the bitch alimony anyway) and his three legged gay poodle named Tinkerbelle while Rex drools into his margatini" chatty.

But I'm trying to reign in the banter fest a bit.

My sister, a few months back, while sitting at the beach and sucking down Diet Cokes big enough to drown a miniature dog (not Tinkerbelle - kind of a Chihuahua sized mug) told me that I didn't give enough eye contact when we spoke. "It's annoying. I haven't said much before because I know how much you love me. But come on - either pay attention to me or let's just admire the scenary and talk later."

Of course I immediately focused in, all laser vision speed ahead, at her. Only when she wasn't looking did I shoot a look (through sunglasses) at the hunk at the beach with the girlfriend that looked like Botox Barbie crashed into Tori Spelling. (Shh... don't tell)

Bottom line: I do constantly interrupt people when I talk to them. It's not because I'm intentionally being rude or think what I have to say is so damn important. But it's because I get it! I do! I am such a quick study that you don't even need to finish your sentence! I can just finish it for you! Possibly funnier, with dicier references, and with something that leads back to me! Iambic Pentameter? Totally optional.

Well, that's not good enough. Not for my friends, my family, my husband, and certainly not the divorced bartender who doesn't get paid enough to listen to my opinion.

I believe it's Eat Pray Love that describes yoga as something like (quote not exact) "You can't find your reflection in running water. Only in still water - quiet calm - can you find yourself and truth."

Translation: "You can't find your (or others') reflections in running of the mouth."

But blogging? Well, I can't stop it. Lucky for you, it's quiet. For now. There's always a podcast in my future.

So, what about you? Are you a naturally shy person or a great listener? Or, like some people (throat clear... His Girl) is listening something you're working on?

More of my writing can be found daily at BabyCenter and Good Housekeeping.







 


Comments

Jacqueline link
01/15/2009 22:13

I thought I was loud (like LOUD, LOUD) until I visited extended family in Philly a couple of years ago. I guess it's the Westerner in me, but Yankees might as well be a different species (and I MARRIED one, SIGH.) These people were so loud I had to leave the room because my head was killing me!

My dear, don't change your chatty ways, it's part of your charm. I bet you talk through movies too- I wish you lived closer, we could go get kicked out of a movie theater together :)

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his girl amber link
01/16/2009 07:46

hahaha. I totally choked when I read the last line! Yes, I am a chatter, interrupter, an 'i totally get it!' -er too. I am easily distracted and -you're right- working on listening these days.

however, having conversed with you in person (that's me name-dropping) I find you exceptionally good at listening & sharing equally. You ask questions, you engage, you are interesting to listen to and easy to confide in. how do you like that? In fact, I could chat with you for hours and hours and hours.

... which I need to find time to do, by the way- it's long overdue.

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Betsy link
01/16/2009 08:16

"I am such a quick study that you don't even need to finish your sentence! I can just finish it for you!"
Is that why I do that? I don't really listen to a word anyone says, then I get accused of being forgetful, but there's nothing to forget if you didn't hear it in the first place.
I admire your sister's honesty. I could never tell my sister something like that. Is she younger or older? Great post.

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Just Jiff link
01/16/2009 08:40

Wow. You make me laugh. I'm definitely not as chatty as you are...and your whole post, while I did not relate to it, made me laugh really hard.

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ms chica link
01/16/2009 13:18

I'm a good listener initially. If I begin hearing the same stuff over and over again, like reliving Groundhog Day, I tune out, and fantasize about surfing down steep hills on cardboard boxes.

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meno link
01/16/2009 14:58

When i find myself being interrupted a lot, i will then shut up, because it makes me try to interrupt back, and conversation shouldn't be a competition.

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naomig link
01/16/2009 19:56

Oh man, that is so me. I work at it constantly, and fail miserably, most of the time, I think. I try really hard tho, that should count for something, right?! I think that's why blogging is so great. I can talk, for as long as I want, and all they can do is click away from my post, in the privacy of their own home. That being said, I hope I'm not a Topper... ya know, one of those people who always interrupts, but then must outdo your story times 50? Yeah, that's a Topper.

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phd in yogurtry link
01/16/2009 22:55

Once my attention is got? Good listener. it's the initial getting my attention that's difficult. Ask my hubby. He has to repeat himself constantly. I tell him, make sure I'm paying attention (like it's his fault, ya know). He doens't buy any of it.

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gretchen link
01/17/2009 18:51

Oh, gee.

I'm a "quick study", too. And an interrupter. And this works okay, until I meet someone like me or someone who's an even quicker study who interrupts MORE, thus giving me a taste of my own medicine.

Smarts.

Sometimes being verbal and thinking of , in, and with words all the time is a bummer.

Because the quiet. It's just not there. So, I'm trying to be more intentional. And give pause time. And really not fill the air with constant chatter.

I suck at it.

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