Dear President to Be:

Did you know you are about to run our country in a few days? Just a friendly reminder in case you are still busy putting away Christmas decorations.

Also, your mother-in-law is going to be moving in. (And some of you thought the economic crisis was a killer.)

You're in for a rough road. And while I might laugh at some right winged KFI hosts who referred to your gathering with conservative journalists last week as yet another example of elitists who kiss each others’ behinds then go home to bathe in buckets of arugala while "massaging their man boobs" (come on, that's pretty funny) I still like you. You have ideals. You have hope. And personally, I just don’t want to think of you tweetering your presidential nipples. You go right ahead and put that energy into the budget, 'kay?

I can’t offer much more than my support and great love for this country. But I can offer you a rocking dinner if ever you’re in Chatsworth. Preferably on Tuesday – that’s when we eat tacos. Bring Michelle. And the kids – Stink and Pip are fun to hang with and make awesome play dates.

But don’t bring the dog. My husband is pretty anal about his lawn. I don't care if it's historical feces - it's still crap.

Tips from a mom who runs her own small country in the burbs? Get full of rest, not full of yourself. Try not to let the negative turkeys get you down. Go on and pardon few turkeys while you're at it. But don't make us stop eating them. You enjoy your arugala, let me enjoy my silly Thanksgiving traditions.

My predictions for the next few years? Oprah will get a condo in Washington, some of us are going to have to tighten our belts financially (which will help us tighten our literal belts also) there’s going to be some new jokes on Letterman, and the best drama on TV is going to be on CNN.

In closing, if you’re interested in being a guest poster on Pass the Zoloft, we’d love to have ya. But I'm a tough editor. If you can't be funny,you're gonna have to go back to your White House gig.

Love,

Andrea

More of my writing can be found daily at BabyCenter and Good Housekeeping.






 


Comments

karin link
01/18/2009 21:08

Oh my. I peed my pants.

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ms chica link
01/19/2009 06:04

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ms chica link
01/19/2009 06:06

Crap, premature button pushing again!

Note to self: eat breakfast before reading about man boobs.

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ramblin' red link
01/19/2009 12:52

Oh dearie, you really ought to send that to him. It will make him smile and remember that his constituents are REAL people, regardless of political affiliation, and it will make him smile. It did me.

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Kingsmom link
01/19/2009 16:04

Very funny!

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Deb link
01/19/2009 20:37

I'm excited about tomorrow (of course now I won't be able to watch without thinking of man boobs)....Kinda glad I decided not to take Liv down - it's a little crazy around down there in DC =) He's in uncharted territories here. I hope he doesn't lose his way.

Can't wait to hear what you think about the ceremony and festivities tomorrow!! =)

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gretchen link
01/20/2009 07:57

Wunnerful, wunnerful advice.

I know I'm in the minority among those with whom I blog and those with whom I go to church, but I'm excited. Only sorry I have to DVR the inaugural oath because I'll be taking David to school.

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andrea frazer link
01/20/2009 09:24

Gretchen - Why are you in the minority? Because Obama doesn't rule by the Bible? It's honestly that kind of thinking that scares me. I'm attempting to be Christian also, as you know, but the world is made up of a whole bunch of folk and we have to pick our battles to win the war. You know that, just validating you.

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gretchen link
01/20/2009 12:15

Well, Honey, I'd say you either are or aren't a Christian--there's no attempting about it. Your salvation is a gift of grace. Attempting to work on yourself to please God is based on the love that He's put into your heart. At least in my humble opinion.

But back to Barack...I agree. We must pick battles to win the war. It's just such a bloody war. And sometimes I tire of the battles within my own mind and church. love you.

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andrea frazer link
01/20/2009 13:29

By "attempting to be Christian" I simply mean that I'm trying to live a good life. I don't think that to be Christian one never lives without doubts or fears. With our brains come thinking about stuff that others don't believe. It's this concept that i have a hard time with Christians - it's this "all or nothing" approach which, yes, I get, but some of us are struggling (perhaps too long, yes) to find our path. I'm just being honest about mine.

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