...and all people with more class than myself, I am now adding a new post to replace the penis post below.

Of course I am not permanently deleting the penis post because, shocking as this may sound, some people who read me might actually have less class than me, so why would I want to deny them a blow up schlong bigger than a Snoopy at Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade? (Let's just hope it doesn't break free and land in the Snoopy. Though that would give new meaning to the word "doggy style".)

Did that last joke go too far? Moving on.

I have nothing to report because I feel so behind the eight ball that all I want to do is curl up with a box of Duncan Donuts, smoke a cigarette, and magically make my Ebay piles, columns, house cleaning (damn those gnats) and new shirt of Rex's that I somehow managed to bleach with a wet towel from swimming go poof! Away with you bad voo doo domestic failure of a mama! Everything today will be shiny and new!

But the thing is, despite my 181 pounds, I don't eat many doughnuts.

Nor do I smoke.

But I do drink the occasional glass of red wine.

And, perhaps in some subconcious reference to the penis post, I have frozen bananas in my freezer.

And since today I locked my keys in my car at 2:30, despite my best efforts to get Pip and Stink to their final swim lessons on time, I am indulging.

I am also unplugging this weekend. I have once again gone techno computer all things electrical crazy .

I think I'm going to read a... gasp... book.

Love you all. And will check out your posts very soon! That is, if I don't somehow manage to spill Yuban all over my computer. That would not be good, but maybe the stench would scare the gnats away.

 

 


Comments

Daria

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:53:06

Did I not send you the "Daily OM" about missing your keys? And, did you read it??? Hummm??? Mama Daria says it's all a sign from the Universe. We love the penis and we love you, too.

 

Stacey

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:56:34

Thanks. You were offending my delicate sensibilities. And I am flattered you think a red-neck-chicken-pluckin-dirt-farmin-bumpkin has more class than you... how trashy are you, anyway???

Sorry 'bout the cruddy day. Things tend to fall apart around my house, too, when the hubby is away for awhile. Hope your man comes home soon and sets all things to right. In the meantime, maybe try tie-dying his shirt some funky colors so he just thinks you're really creative. And gnats don't like hair spray (how do I know this???). At least you don't have to worry about drinking too much red wine and driving since your keys are locked in the car. Hang in there, my friend, the weekend is here!!

 

meno

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:28:52

I believe this post proves that red wine produces the best writing.

 

gretchen

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:09:38

Hereby supporting the axiom that some days are shittier than others.

Hang in there. Enjoy your book.

 

phd in yogurtry

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 22:05:09

I feel your pain. Frequent keys-locked-inside-car survivor. Now? I drive a three year old car with one of those numerical key pads next to the door knob. Lock keys inside car? Voila. Entrez vous. Best invention since, well, the car.

Next stop. Penis post.

 

LT

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 21:01:54

Oh my!
I have to tell you that I love red wine too,!! sometimes to excess. And I just want you to know that in the huge world of the blogeshere there are many people thinking of you and I so hope you had the weekend you were hoping for! To sappy, I know, I can't blame red wine though, just a few too many beers after the kiddos were in bed!

 

Just Jiff

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 08:58:09

hehehe.

I thought the penis photo looked more like one of those rawhide dog treats rolled up into a stick. But oh well.

 

JCK

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:43:05

Penis post? Hurrah! I am going to look.

Unplugging is a gift. So is reading *gasp* a book! Yeah!

 

Kingsmom

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 08:34:36

Enjoy your weekend and your book!

 

Meowmie

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 03:16:02

Hope your weekend was relaxing - or you at least got some moments to yourself.

 

Heidi

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:42:23

God bless chilled Chardonnay, a cigarette, and a good Anne Rule book after the kids gone to bed.

And God bless my deck finally being finished this weekend, too.

 



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