Where I Whine Like a Baby 07/31/2009
 Many people in blogland know that Heather Armstrong from Dooce.com recently had a baby. She named her Marlo. All over her blog are incredible photos like the one above showing this face of beauty so exquisite you could just die with longing. In fact, I do. EVERY TIME I see one. People, I'll be 40 in February. And Rex not only doesn't want any more kids, he... we... took medical steps to ensure it wouldn't happen. This didn't keep me from bursting out crying the day he came back from surgery, all limping with his ice pack of peas. I might have been a wee bit dramatic, what with the "I'm barren!" and "You're nothing but a sterile shooter now, babe!" I thought five years later I'd be over it, but I'm not. In my mind, a third is insane. Emotionally it would take me down quicker than a Jonas brother by a paparazzi. But in my heart, I just want one more chance. To really get it right this time. To savor every leg kick and night feeding and smell of baby head. To see Pip and Stink love on their little brother or sister and embrace all the new stories and adventures that life brings with it. This is where you come in to tell me that I'm being selfish, what with world population. And that the two kids I have right now are just enough. And I'll say you're right. And I'll nod my head. And then I'll cry when Dooce puts up a new photo of that stinking beautiful Marlo. * Photo from Dooce.com (If I've done some sort of copyright infringement could you let me know? I really don't want the Queen of blogland up my arse.) CommentsI think you are fine - you appropriately gave credit where credit was due! My littlest is almost two, but I can already see in another 2 years wanting, REALLY wanting to have a chubby, squishy soft, sweet baby to hoard all to myself. I got my tubes tied. So..... I will probably just have to resign myself to blog stalking new mom's! ;) Or I am holding out hope that my sister will provide some nieces/nephews for me to borrow! Having taken steps to limit our family only recently, I feel you more than u might realize. If u think Rex has an inkling of having any of the same longing, it might be appropriate to discuss some "undoings". 08/01/2009 21:08
Sorry, I'm in the same boat. I want another one badly and while John has finally jumped on board with my wishes, he still thinks life would be just fine with our one. 08/01/2009 21:48
Fluter - I know you hear me. I saw your post! I should have linked it. Tomorrow I will. I think *most* anyone who has "taken steps" feels that way. My youngest is almost two (and I'm 43) and when they were in there for the c-section they tied my tubes. Sorry, but I can't tell you your are selfish or wrong for feeling this way! My hubby too has taken "medical steps" to ensure we don't have more. I can't regret it but it does make me sad sometimes to know there would be no more! I mean my youngest would be such a great big brother! I so hear you too! Filmgeek 08/16/2009 07:33
If it's any consolation, having had the big V myself, there are always going to be the "what if" questions. Even with a bag of frozen peas on my, a-hem, lima beans, I was thinking "what if we hadn't just done that?" But, you come to live with your decisions over time and learn not to focus on the regret. Enjoy what you got b/c it's what you got. Leave a Reply |  ArchivesApril 2009 Online DegreesSocial work is a profession for those with a strong desire to help improve people's lives. Earn your masters degree in social work. CategoriesAll 
PASS THE ZOLOFT CategoriesAll ArchivesJuly 2011 |
RSS Feed