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Heather Armstrong of Dooce has made a fortune off her mommy blog. She's been able to buy a gazillion dollar mansion in Utah. Her husband was able to quit his day job and run her site full time, earning her more cash.

I say good for her. She found a niche with her flawless writing and spot-on takes on motherhood.

The one thing that drives me batty about her site, however, is how she half hides a photo, forcing readers to click on it to see the full picture. I am guessing that with each click comes added traffic which means added cha ching. (If I'm wrong, and Heather is reading, please let me know. It would help if you clicked on one of my Google ads while you're at it so I could make an additional 2 cents. The photo of the man's booty on top was taken by Stink in Vegas last year and is provided free of service for all to enjoy.)

Again, hooray for her to consistently get voyeurs like moi to pay her mortgage (or fly out her cousins to her grandmother's funeral.... she is always very gracious to her readers) but... BUT... the clicks. So... annoying.

Rather than complain anymore, however, I've decided to follow suit. Only I'm taking it a step further. Instead of clicking on my website pictures, I'm going to have Rex, my computer guru, install a human click in my actual body. I will be in real time, which means instant gratification for Dooce whores (such as myself) and all humanity.

If you were here right now, you could click on my belly. Voila: Gluten free spaghetti would waft out!

Click on my breasts and here the sound effects: TIRED.... SAGGING... TWO KIDS, BAD SPORTS BRA.

Click on my booty and hear: FAT ASS - GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND JOG.

And so I shall.

Right after I click on my coffee pot. Nothing says running in real time like a Yuban high.

Happy Monday all!
 


Comments

RedStacey link
10/19/2009 20:57

This is your funniest post EVER! Click on my post-baby bladder right now and you would hear it scream because I am trying way too hard to not pee my pants, I am laughing THAT hard. Must run to the bathroom with legs crossed. And I'll try to remember to click... I mean flush.

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Arwen link
10/20/2009 05:55

The imagery!

I started reading her blog recently, to see what all of the fuss was about. I got bored pretty quickly with seeing mostly half pictures all the time and went back to reading blogs I actually like (like yours!) Did I mention my baby was born on the same day as hers? Just a few hours apart (both in time and distance). Not that that has to do with anything...

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Daria link
10/20/2009 06:38

I just had a conversation with my man about those clicks on her site - click click click chaaa ching! I've noticed that on a lot of the sites that I read - the pages are shorter and shorter. Anyway, very funny post - you are on fire! LOVE IT!

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Heidi link
10/21/2009 10:36

Well, since Pooker was generous to give me her cold...

If you clicked on my nose you'd get mucous and a sneeze.

If you clicked on my boobs you'd get a smack across the face because Aunt Flo is a bitch and they hurt.

If you clicked on my ever-widening ass, it'd jiggle because I need to go back to the gym.

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gretchen link
10/23/2009 06:36

Can he install a click in me, too? Or maybe a "clapper"?

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Meowmie link
10/26/2009 03:03

Oh, a much needed laugh!

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