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I've been socializing a bit less these days and it's felt nice. Spending more time with the kids... more time with the hubby (when he's not in Germany.) I've been a bit busy with school stuff, but that, too, will pass.

I look at my kids who are so unafraid of change. "Hey, look, Mom, my head now touches the window sill !" Growing a few inches in one month is as easy breezy as it is for me to brew a cup of coffee. (And both of us are equally as hyper afterwards.)

Me? I'm a mixed bag. I write a column for the world to see. I can chat with the street bum. I love parties and dancing. A last minute invite to a play? I'm there.

But I'm also that ten year old girl who just wants her quiet. I miss my dad. My mom is getting older. My kids are needing me less and less. And while things in my marriage have never felt more peaceful, I'm also standing on this precipice of new beginnings. Of change. Of, like my son's overgrown mop hair, growth.

I often wish I could go back to the times my kids were babies. When I'd rock them in my arms and hear Elmo chattering in the background. Things were simpler then. Slower.

I try to remind myself of that. "Andrea, slow down. It's okay."

And so I am trying. More than trying. I am doing it. I need it.
So tonight, while my husband sleeps a whole world away, and my babies are resting comfortably in their beds, I will turn off my brain and rest. Ebay can wait. My work can wait. Hell, my dishes can wait.

The only thing that can't wait? Growth.

Anyone else know what I mean?
 


Comments

Stacey
04/15/2010 09:58

I totally know what you mean. Just don't forget you need food, water and sonlight to grow! Here's some to start with: John 6:33-35, John 4:7-15, Luke 22:17-23

As for me, my growth has been due mostly to too much pizza and all that half n half in my coffee. Not the kind of growth I was looking for. My jeans size is growing accordingly.

BTW, what's the hubby doing in Germany? Eating schnitzel?

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Deb link
04/16/2010 10:16

Wow, I really need to take this post to heart. Sometimes I feel like life is whizzing past me and there's nothing I can do to stop it, you know? Come May, when school is over and several other projects are done, I plan on doing the same thing. No more volunteering myself for every little thing, no more having to be on the computer for hours in the evenings, just me, the hubs, the girls and the dogs, enjoying the rest of spring on the back deck, talking and laughing and being together.

That sounds heavenly. I'm glad you're slowing down. I'll join you soon :)

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Evonne link
04/16/2010 11:10

Yes. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

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meno link
04/16/2010 14:36

Yeah, i know what you mean. I live a slow life by choice and i love it. Except for those few times when i don't.

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