Wabi Sabi Wednesday 05/26/2010
 I had the privilege of keeping watch over a four month old today. It forced me to slow down... to clean out my desk... to watch Oprah with the delicious smell of baby powder mixed with formula swirling around my head. I snapped this photo right after she fell asleep. Looks kind of perfect, doesn't it? The cozy blanket, the chubby cheeks... you can almost hear an audible sigh. And yet, if I hadn't cropped that photo, you'd see even more of my faded couch. You'd see shavings from a rabbit cage all over the floor. (Yeah for us! Pip won the class pet by a "hare".) You'd see TV remotes and coffee cups. You'd see magazines, art supplies, and carelessly strewn couch pillows. I'm not saying we're pigs around these here parts, but we're not perfect. We're humans. We are a big slice of running late/can't find the ballet shoes/woops left my car unlocked so got my purse stolen/oh no out of milk again/really did you just say that, Stink/sorry to disappoint you again, Pip/Rex I HAVE NO IDEA where I left your keysSHUT UP ABOUT IT life pie. It was only in sitting with Baby V... in that stillness... that I realized, truly, what I've been fighting against this past year. It wasn't just loneliness. It wasn't depression. It wasn't anger, or Tourettes or writing angst. It was not my marriage or my body or my home or my bank account. It was my desire for perfection. Even though logically I knew/know I can't have it, I want it. And that's about as crazy as thinking that Baby V is going to sleep EXACTLY when I want her to because I have a column to post. To borrow a term from an art salon I hosted a few months back, life is really about Wabi Sabi. This is a Japanese term that means finding beauty in imperfection. For lack of a more spiritual term - DUH. That's what has been missing! That is what I long for! A word and a name for what my soul has been dying to sing about but couldn't quite put my finger on. And now I know. And I can't turn back. That's what I want my blog to be about. That's my book. And most importantly, that is going to be my life goal. Every. Single. Day. If I could wake my children up right this moment, I would beg them for forgiveness. For putting up with a cranky, sullen, and funny only in bursts, Mommy. Somewhere, along the way, I found God (Thank God) but I I lost my verve. I lost my humor. I lost my blog. I lost me. But now I'm back - soon with a new name. I'm so ready to Wabi Sabi my way into June. What are your perfect imperfections? Who's ready to embrace the crazy insanity that makes up our wonderful, insane, BEAUTIFUL lives! (And on a totally selfish, self-absorbed note, what do you think of a blog called "Wabi Sabi Mommy" where my posts are similar to the ones I already write, but with a focus on the chaos that makes life fun? Is that name too long? Thanks for your input.) CommentsNow you are speaking my language, sister. Speaking as someone who loses my patience and my temper at the drop of a hat over REALLY stupid things, I think you revelation is something all moms can relate to. I would like to stop thinking about the future and worrying about how my actions will affect my kids and instead, simply enjoy them and enjoy life. You aren't perfect, I'm not perfect, LIFE isn't perfect and you know what? We need to embrace that. I love the idea and I love the blog name. I look forward to reading more :) I think that's a super fun name to say outloud (which always makes me happy!) 05/27/2010 10:55
Thank you EVERYONE! Wabi Sabi Momma! Cool! Andrea, I would rather see fewer posts on the new blog and have them all be your precious, amazing, quirky, sometimes raw pov (wabi sabi, indeed!), than a place for my input. I can always comment, but I come here to see your writing. Because it's excellent. Lurve you, though, and will be back no matter what you decide. So glad you figured it out. Perfectionism is a demon. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist, because I still see places, both in over-activity and IN-activity, where it rears its ugly head. But I'm working on it. That life pie (love the term) is served up in my house every day. I can so relate and also to the striving for perfection part. I read a book on ADHD, called, "View from the Cliff" (might be that one, an excellent, excellent book, btw, but cant be sure, I've read so many). Anyway, the book says many chronically disorganized, chronically messy people are actually unactualized perfectionists. "If I can't get it looking perfect? I might as well not try." So there we go. Makes sense we need to embrace our inner imperfections. Ren 05/30/2010 07:05
WOW! thanks so much ...after reading this i've realized that is what i too have been stressed about not having perfection...i am totally inspired now to let go of trying to achieve that unrealistic state of being. Lynn 06/01/2010 16:08
Love the Wabi Sabi concept! It's something so many woman/moms/wives can relate to. If I could find peace and beauty in imperfection, life would be so much simpler, that along with Hakuna Matata (no worries) and I'd be good to go. Love the blog idea too. I also vote for your writings with a place for us to post. Wow, you clever gal! What fab things come out of unexpected stillness. Irishmama7 06/07/2010 12:08
I like Wabi Sabi Mommy! I also ditto Meowmies comment. I love your pov and writing but add a few guest post/writers to give yourself a break and shake it up a bit. Leave a Reply |  ArchivesApril 2009 Online DegreesSocial work is a profession for those with a strong desire to help improve people's lives. Earn your masters degree in social work. CategoriesAll 
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