I went to a baby shower last week for a friend who is having her second child any minute now. She's American with 100% South of the Border ancestry blood running through her veins. A Jewish American hosted, while several ladies from India contributed to the festivities, including hiring a henna lady to decorate our bodies with temporary ink. (I'm top left.)

I love my son and daughter's public school and the mamas that come along with it. Our backgrounds are different, but our love for our babies are the same. We can talk about sex and religion as supportively as we chat about immunizations and the LA school system.

One of my friends wants to take me to her Muslim temple. I'd have to wear a  hijab to her mosque - the traditional headpiece women wear in that culture.
 
At six foot one, I don't need any more reason to cause attention to myself. "Look out! It's a lighthouse covered in fabric from Joanne's 50% off sale!"

And yet, if we don't grab the opportunities in front of us to support our fellow human for what they believe in, regardless of our own faith, then what is the point of even educating our children? Isn't love and respect what it's all about?

I'm far from being a saint. A few years back I had a fight that brought me to my knees. I am still reeling from the diatribe that came from my mouth. I was a jerk. And while I can't change the past, I can learn from my mistakes, forgive myself, and pave ways for new friendships formed through openness and love.

And, on days when my kids are driving me nuts with their endless noises, that Muslim head piece is going to come in real handy. I'll just hide a walkman under it and drive down the road. A cop wouldn't suspect ANYTHING. Unless he notices that the quiet reserved Muslim mama is blasting Johnny Cash. I'd gladly pay a ticket for that.)

I was recently given a one-week membership to a fancy ladies gym. With the terrible earthquake on my mind, as well as so many people losing their homes in this economy, it seemed unfair and decadent that I enjoy an incredible shower, a pristine spa and a soft towel when so many have so little.

As I have often done during my two month hiatus from writing this blog, my mind started churning. "What is life really about? Why are we here? If there really is a God - why are so many people so unhappy?"

I looked into a squeaky clean mirror, free of the streaks, fog and little thumb prints so typical of my jack & jill 50's bathroom. Even the soft lighting couldn't hide the changes on my face - a face that hadn't taken a long look in the mirror in quite a while.

Soon another face, a good thirty years older than mine, joined my reflection. She didn't say much. She simply picked up a dryer in an attempt to blow out her short gray locks. Nothing happened.

"Weird," she mumbled. Soon enough, though, she found a dangling power cord. She attached it into the socket, the noise started, and she was one step closer to fabulous hair.

Clearly this woman didn't live to be her age without knowing what to do when things went wrong. She had confidence. She had know-how. She didn't spend time complaining or moaning. She took the bull by the horns and fixed it. To be specfic, she plugged it in.

How many times have I complained about the dangling power cords of my own life? My kids, my marriage, my bills, my spirituality. It dawned on me, there in the womens' locker room, that I might want things different, but it's not going to happen by whining. I have to PLUG IN. And when I'm plugged in - emotionally, physically, and spiritually - electricity happens. Growth happens. Hell, I might even get some good hair out of it.

I'm going to be 40 in a month. I don't know what the second half of my life is going to mean. But I certainly plan on spending more time attached to the power of friendship, love, hope, faith, writing, new projects and, god willing, some good humor. (I just hope I don't electrocute myself in the process. That is NOT going to help my hair issues.)

Hi all -

I have learned a ton in the past month about blogging for pay. I have found that many people have no issues accepting a gift card and writing about the product. Thank you to the lovely folk who have said yes!

I've found that some people never want to do that. The only types of reviews they'll give are the ones that they decide to do on their own.

I have found some people would normally do a review, but have gotten busy at this time of year. Totally understandable.

What I've found the most fascinating, however, is that people who don't do reviews tend to be people that are already making a gazillion dollars on their blog. This makes sense. After all, they don't have to.

There is definitely a fine line between making some money (which you know I have no problem doing) and still being true to your own voice. After all, some of you write just to write. Others write for pay. (Me.) But at the same time, I have built up my audience based on "me" - not my product pitches. So... and here's the real tip I've learned from my job:

FULL DISCLOSURE.

Can we say it again? FULL DISCLOSURE.

This means that should you do a review for pay, always say you've been paid to do it! This at least makes you credible.

And so, on that note, I am giving FULL DISCLOSURE to say that Leapfrog has paid me in the past to write about their products. They have been very good to me, and I do really like their stuff - especially their TAG readers (these are books with electronic pens...less stimulation than a computer but still interactive for little hands... great gift for the 3 - 7 year old crowd) so I am letting you all know about their sale in case you have little ones to shop for.

At some point, if I keep doing product review, I will put a new tab up. Then, all the people who are into freebies can go there. And all of you who just don't give a rat's booty about discounts but want to hear about me - God bless you - can simply stay here.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

DISCLOSURE! I'M PROMOTING LEAPFROG HERE! (WHO I LOVE!)
BLACK FRIDAY / CYBER MONDAY DEALS, STARTING 10 PM PST TONIGHT! ·         25% to 75% off sitewide

·         Select Leapster games as low as $5

·         Select Tag Books as low as $5

·         Up to 75% off on our gift packs

·         Spend $50, get free shipping

·         Black Friday Bonus, Spend $100, get $10 off

 

Gobble gobble!

Before I start this post, let me begin my saying how grateful I am for a paycheck. Between my Good Housekeeping gig, some animated cards I recently sold to JibJab (they aren't up yet) and my current part-time job, I have more than so many do. I am beyond thrilled to live in a country where my big mouth... ahem... freedom of speech... is allowing me to balance both motherhood and a career I love.

That all said, I'm curious what ya'll do with your paychecks. Does it all go toward paying the bills? Do you budget some for your hair and nails? Does it go toward education for the kids or vacations?

I ask because for years I had let my beauty regime go. I have thrift stored my kids' clothes (and still will... I love it.) But... but... now that I'm finally earning a salary again, it doesn't seem like that much more will go to me. Not if I want to get some extra classes for the kids, or some acupuncture for Stink. Not if I want to finally fix those blinds in the bathroom or tile in the kitchen. Not if I want to pay off some expenses incurred from purchasing a cabin a few months back.

My final comment is that I know everyone should have my problems. As someone wrote on my Good Housekeeping site, "Oh, it must be so hard for you to have a second home when so many don't have one."

Okay. Should I feel guilty for being born to a family who gave me love, an education and a bit of tenacity to use my skills for pay? Should I flog myself for marrying a man who makes an okay living?

I'm feeling this odd shift in the times. For so long (and many can attest to knowing me "back then" ) I was a housewife with a teeny blog and two small babies. I literally had to budget in my snack food. I have a bit more now, but I know it's by (don't kill me non-Christian readers) the grace of God that I'm able to parlay my chatty soul into jobs. But do I need to justify myself to those who aren't as fortunate?

Or, like Oprah always says, "I came from the projects. I don't feel guilty at all."

Um... that doesn't help me. The only projects I come from are mounds of Ebay clothes that used to line my floors, earning me a few hundred dollars each month.

I don't know, people. But I do know that I am grateful, thankful, and plan on tithing some cash to those in need. What else can I do? What do you do? And if you're not doing what you love, how can I help? Let's talk, people.

More of my writing can be found at Goodhousekeeping.

I completed Day 1 of the part time job. The good news:

* I'm LOVING it
* Rex has really stepped up to the plate. He picked up the kids from school, did homework, dinner, bedtime, the whole nine-yards. He is willing to do this 3 days/week so that I can clock in my 24 hours and be home 2 days/week.

The bad news:

* It's going to take me an hour to get home on those three nights of work
* Staring at a computer for 8 hours straight is going to make my mind melt more than my heart at a Salvation Army 50% off sale
* Coming home when my kids are already in bed? Ditto the extra heart break

And so, I'm now going to work 5 days/week. Rex will get the kids Monday only. I'll be home at 5:30 those days for dinner and the bedtime routine. The other 4 days I'll work while the kids are at school, allowing me to pick them up. They won't even know I was missing, despite having a look of permanent sleep deprivation. (Oh well, the extra cash will go to botox pick-me-ups. Kidding. Kind of. Shit - I'm almost 40! How did that happen? Moving on.)

The 5 day work week - despite nice hours - is not ideal, as I was hoping for a little more down time for me.

On the flip side, seeing my kids' down turned faces as I rush to kiss them good night is worse.

It's a tough thing - this working mom deal. While I need to do what is best for me (hello extra cash, stimulation, some adult interaction) my kids are only young once.

And so, while I am fortunate enough to not have to work full time, I'm going to enjoy my problem. So many mothers don't have that option.

What about you? What are your thoughts on work? What is best for you? Do you miss it?

In closing, I've decided to get back into writing what I love the most: parenting topics. At some point I'm going to start the anti-Parent Center blog where we'll have our own little Momformation, but it'll be a bit more real and no one can fire me. Stay tuned.

* You can also find me at Good Housekeeping where I write about sex and marriage 3 days/week.