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Hi all -

I have learned a ton in the past month about blogging for pay. I have found that many people have no issues accepting a gift card and writing about the product. Thank you to the lovely folk who have said yes!

I've found that some people never want to do that. The only types of reviews they'll give are the ones that they decide to do on their own.

I have found some people would normally do a review, but have gotten busy at this time of year. Totally understandable.

What I've found the most fascinating, however, is that people who don't do reviews tend to be people that are already making a gazillion dollars on their blog. This makes sense. After all, they don't have to.

There is definitely a fine line between making some money (which you know I have no problem doing) and still being true to your own voice. After all, some of you write just to write. Others write for pay. (Me.) But at the same time, I have built up my audience based on "me" - not my product pitches. So... and here's the real tip I've learned from my job:

FULL DISCLOSURE.

Can we say it again? FULL DISCLOSURE.

This means that should you do a review for pay, always say you've been paid to do it! This at least makes you credible.

And so, on that note, I am giving FULL DISCLOSURE to say that Leapfrog has paid me in the past to write about their products. They have been very good to me, and I do really like their stuff - especially their TAG readers (these are books with electronic pens...less stimulation than a computer but still interactive for little hands... great gift for the 3 - 7 year old crowd) so I am letting you all know about their sale in case you have little ones to shop for.

At some point, if I keep doing product review, I will put a new tab up. Then, all the people who are into freebies can go there. And all of you who just don't give a rat's booty about discounts but want to hear about me - God bless you - can simply stay here.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

DISCLOSURE! I'M PROMOTING LEAPFROG HERE! (WHO I LOVE!)
BLACK FRIDAY / CYBER MONDAY DEALS, STARTING 10 PM PST TONIGHT! ·         25% to 75% off sitewide

·         Select Leapster games as low as $5

·         Select Tag Books as low as $5

·         Up to 75% off on our gift packs

·         Spend $50, get free shipping

·         Black Friday Bonus, Spend $100, get $10 off

 

Gobble gobble!
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Before I start this post, let me begin my saying how grateful I am for a paycheck. Between my Good Housekeeping gig, some animated cards I recently sold to JibJab (they aren't up yet) and my current part-time job, I have more than so many do. I am beyond thrilled to live in a country where my big mouth... ahem... freedom of speech... is allowing me to balance both motherhood and a career I love.

That all said, I'm curious what ya'll do with your paychecks. Does it all go toward paying the bills? Do you budget some for your hair and nails? Does it go toward education for the kids or vacations?

I ask because for years I had let my beauty regime go. I have thrift stored my kids' clothes (and still will... I love it.) But... but... now that I'm finally earning a salary again, it doesn't seem like that much more will go to me. Not if I want to get some extra classes for the kids, or some acupuncture for Stink. Not if I want to finally fix those blinds in the bathroom or tile in the kitchen. Not if I want to pay off some expenses incurred from purchasing a cabin a few months back.

My final comment is that I know everyone should have my problems. As someone wrote on my Good Housekeeping site, "Oh, it must be so hard for you to have a second home when so many don't have one."

Okay. Should I feel guilty for being born to a family who gave me love, an education and a bit of tenacity to use my skills for pay? Should I flog myself for marrying a man who makes an okay living?

I'm feeling this odd shift in the times. For so long (and many can attest to knowing me "back then" ) I was a housewife with a teeny blog and two small babies. I literally had to budget in my snack food. I have a bit more now, but I know it's by (don't kill me non-Christian readers) the grace of God that I'm able to parlay my chatty soul into jobs. But do I need to justify myself to those who aren't as fortunate?

Or, like Oprah always says, "I came from the projects. I don't feel guilty at all."

Um... that doesn't help me. The only projects I come from are mounds of Ebay clothes that used to line my floors, earning me a few hundred dollars each month.

I don't know, people. But I do know that I am grateful, thankful, and plan on tithing some cash to those in need. What else can I do? What do you do? And if you're not doing what you love, how can I help? Let's talk, people.

More of my writing can be found at Goodhousekeeping.


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I completed Day 1 of the part time job. The good news:

* I'm LOVING it
* Rex has really stepped up to the plate. He picked up the kids from school, did homework, dinner, bedtime, the whole nine-yards. He is willing to do this 3 days/week so that I can clock in my 24 hours and be home 2 days/week.

The bad news:

* It's going to take me an hour to get home on those three nights of work
* Staring at a computer for 8 hours straight is going to make my mind melt more than my heart at a Salvation Army 50% off sale
* Coming home when my kids are already in bed? Ditto the extra heart break

And so, I'm now going to work 5 days/week. Rex will get the kids Monday only. I'll be home at 5:30 those days for dinner and the bedtime routine. The other 4 days I'll work while the kids are at school, allowing me to pick them up. They won't even know I was missing, despite having a look of permanent sleep deprivation. (Oh well, the extra cash will go to botox pick-me-ups. Kidding. Kind of. Shit - I'm almost 40! How did that happen? Moving on.)

The 5 day work week - despite nice hours - is not ideal, as I was hoping for a little more down time for me.

On the flip side, seeing my kids' down turned faces as I rush to kiss them good night is worse.

It's a tough thing - this working mom deal. While I need to do what is best for me (hello extra cash, stimulation, some adult interaction) my kids are only young once.

And so, while I am fortunate enough to not have to work full time, I'm going to enjoy my problem. So many mothers don't have that option.

What about you? What are your thoughts on work? What is best for you? Do you miss it?

In closing, I've decided to get back into writing what I love the most: parenting topics. At some point I'm going to start the anti-Parent Center blog where we'll have our own little Momformation, but it'll be a bit more real and no one can fire me. Stay tuned.

* You can also find me at Good Housekeeping where I write about sex and marriage 3 days/week.
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After being let go by BabyCenter six months ago, and with my kids now in school full time, I'd been feeling a bit antsy.

Yes, I know I don't have to be busy 24 hours/day, but staying stimulated is how I roll.

I made a list of my dream job:

* Writing in an office
* Working part time
* Decent salary to make the wear and tear on my car, as well as my personal life, worth it
* Being a mom to my kids, but being true to me while they are at school

Two weeks later I landed a fabulous job working as a blogger at DeiWorldwide.com

As I type this, music is pounding over the speakers. There's a long line of young advertisers engaging audiences through Facebook, Twitter and Aol. There's a window behind me looking out over a bustling street with trees waving in the Fall wind.

As for me, I'll be writing content for a big brand (name to come) and engaging the audiences I have built over the past five years here, at Baby Center, Good Housekeeping and new folk throughout the web.

What I like about this company is that they want me to fully disclose who I am and what I'm doing on the blogs. Ex: If I'm on Facebook talking about sugar for their client, I'll be "Andrea @ DEIWorldwide" (or whatever my final screen name is.)

The great news for you all is that I'll be able to promote your blogs through this new venue, helping you gain traffic, some holiday cash through your advertising, etc. There's talk of handing out gift cards to my favorite bloggers (ahem.... you know who you are) to make your holiday shopping a little bit easier. Your only job is to write a post  about what you did with the money, as well as dropping a weblink back to the client. (Again, client to be revealed later. No, it's not porn or Pottery Barn. Other than that,

Some of you might not be interested in doing this at all. Totally fine - Pass the Zoloft will still be about my life, my kids, etc. But since a huge part of me has always loved to work, expect some posts about that sprinkled in.

I owe so many of you a look, and I'll do so this week.

Hope you had a great Halloween!
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Heather Armstrong of Dooce has made a fortune off her mommy blog. She's been able to buy a gazillion dollar mansion in Utah. Her husband was able to quit his day job and run her site full time, earning her more cash.

I say good for her. She found a niche with her flawless writing and spot-on takes on motherhood.

The one thing that drives me batty about her site, however, is how she half hides a photo, forcing readers to click on it to see the full picture. I am guessing that with each click comes added traffic which means added cha ching. (If I'm wrong, and Heather is reading, please let me know. It would help if you clicked on one of my Google ads while you're at it so I could make an additional 2 cents. The photo of the man's booty on top was taken by Stink in Vegas last year and is provided free of service for all to enjoy.)

Again, hooray for her to consistently get voyeurs like moi to pay her mortgage (or fly out her cousins to her grandmother's funeral.... she is always very gracious to her readers) but... BUT... the clicks. So... annoying.

Rather than complain anymore, however, I've decided to follow suit. Only I'm taking it a step further. Instead of clicking on my website pictures, I'm going to have Rex, my computer guru, install a human click in my actual body. I will be in real time, which means instant gratification for Dooce whores (such as myself) and all humanity.

If you were here right now, you could click on my belly. Voila: Gluten free spaghetti would waft out!

Click on my breasts and here the sound effects: TIRED.... SAGGING... TWO KIDS, BAD SPORTS BRA.

Click on my booty and hear: FAT ASS - GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND JOG.

And so I shall.

Right after I click on my coffee pot. Nothing says running in real time like a Yuban high.

Happy Monday all!
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...This pic must have a story but I have no clue what it is. A friend took it at my son's kindergarten graduation last year and just emailed it to me.

Here are a few thoughts off the top of my head:

1. What? You just won a life time's supply of Yuban? No waaaay!

2. Yes, this is a horrible haircut. Hey, you had the bad Betty Paige, too?

3. Stink, stop licking the ABC floor mat!

4. What do you mean my kids are old enough to attend full day grade school?

5. I write a sex column? For real?

6. I'm going to become friends with Christian homeschoolers, my ex-gay boyfriend, and my entire graduating highschool class through the internet and Facebook.

7. Wow, purchasing a cabin costs how much in incidental blankets, quilts, pillows, heater filters, paint, silicone, roof tar, pool tables, moving companies and vintage embroidered snow scenes bought on sale for $15.00 at Out of the Closet? (That last item? Totally incidental. Like my ex-boyfriend, I just love the stuff I find Out of the Closet.)

8. I haven't posted in how many days?

9. It's what time right now?

10. Rex wants what tonight?

If anyone else would like to add to the list, feel free.

Meanwhile, I owe many of your sites a look-see. I hope all of you are well. If you don't hear from me, it's just I'm working three jobs to pay for my cabin, as well as therapy for my children who have been avoided for a whole year while I pay off my Discover Card and get a better hair-do.
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I'm loving my spiritual journey. It's busting my balls and forcing me to deal with emotions I'd much rather set aside in a cute little box in the attic next to the Christmas lights and one-armed scarecrow (don't ask how that happened) but... in the process of trying to "let go" of things that don't matter, I somehow forgot to keep in some things that do matter. Like...

1. Good hair. What the hell is up with my two toned rat's nest of Pippi Longstocking string number crossed with some bad 80's hesher punk band mixed with someone on crack from Super cuts clipping it with a hedge trimmer?

2. My camera. I don't have one. I'm sick of writing posts without coresponding photos. Where are my kids' asses hanging out of the back of the SUV? Where are the shots of their purple and orange Halloween tree in their room, replete with handmade decorations that look like they were drunk on Vodka Capri Sun while cutting them out?

3. My skin: I have the acne of a teenager - most likely from stressing from no camera and bad hair. I'm also mighty ticked off at the movie vans that keep lining my street but never use my house. What, is my driveway not good enough for your craft service you flippin' Hollywood elitist director? If you don't want to use it, then STOP RINGING MY DOORBELL AND TAKING PHOTOS OF MY LIVING ROOM! (I swear, there must be ten shots of my messy dining table with Stink's crooked grin trying to make it's way into the picture. Not my camera of course... I don't have one. Some director's camera who never uses my house!!!!!)

4. A job I really dig. I love writng for Good Housekeeping, but I miss real live human beings. I don't care if it's not as "motherly" as I'd like in my ideal world of what it means to raise centered kids. I've done a good job with them. They're happy. They're content. And while they're at school, I want to have fun also!  I want to be on a studio set with craft service and crazy gay actors and bitchy directors and bipolar make-up artists and all the fabulous personalites that make this life so fun.

And at the end of the day, i want to come home to my quite Rex who kisses me goodbye as I head off to church on Sunday and thank God for this dynamic life that I lead.

Becuase while, yes, I am in need of God to fill a void in my life, I can also say that God probably wants me to do what I need to do to make ME happy. And it's pretty simple: GET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE! This mama is going back to Hollywood!

I'll keep you posted.

* Photo of my kids having a good time in the tub - taken about 3 months ago when I had a camera. I posted it for proof that once, a long time ago... before Mommy abandoned them for show biz, they were indeed frolicking, lively, clean children.
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I'm just going to spit it out. I miss BabyCenter. I'm pretty upset that, after 2 years there, I was let go. I don't believe it was about the numbers. I know that I got a lot of hits. It was because I wasn't afraid to lay it on the line and take hits. I believe I connected with readers. I felt that my strength was writing with honesty and humor about my kids. To not even get emails back from editors over there - well - it is disappointing.

I have found myself so many times in the past six months thinking, "Wow, that is a total BabyCenter article" but then I have to remember, "No, I don't write for them anymore." I'm irritated at myself at how much of my validation as a person came from those articles. I felt like I made a difference.

I am not sure what my path is now. I know this is simply a time of transition for me. Like Daria who is about to embark on a new journey, it's my time to find myself. My kids are in school full time. What does this mean for my career? Where will I land?

I don't know about my future jobs (though I've been pitching quite a bit.) I don't know about what it will be like to be 40 - it's coming up fast. But one thing I am really really proud of, even with all my self-degration and perfectionistic "let's fix it" personality, is that I have happy kids. They love each other. They laugh like crazy. They dance and are silly and will play prince and princess as well as run naked through the mud. They are kind, gentle, enthusiastic souls. They wave to strangers, pray for bad people and giggle with abandon. I want to be them when I grow up.

In closing, with utmost respect for the organization that is Johnson and Johnson, BabyCenter can kiss my ass. I don't need no stinking column to know how fabulous I've got it with Stink and Pip.

* Photo of Stink right after he told his Cinderella, "Wait! I don't even know your name!" and passed back the slipper.

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Stink just lost his first tooth. Unlike how I face changes ("Nooo... this is awful... terrible... why can't it all stay exactly the same as it was TANTRUM TANTRUM HEAD BONK KICK dear Goooddddddddd noooooooooooooooooo") he couldn't be more overjoyed at the departure. For him it means new beginnings... a fresh start... and a $29.99 swimming/walking puppy from  the Tooth Fairy. (Sadly, that winged bitch could NOT find Stink's choice at a Salvation Army. "Oh no... this is terrible... why can't it all..." Oh wait... changing my thinking. Moving on.)

Like Stink's transition, I'm ready to start fresh in my brain. I've been licking my wounds regarding personal losses for too long - from people who are no longer here, to ideals that no longer work with where I'm at in my life now.

This doesn't have to be so tragic! There's many exciting things that can grow with new beginnings. Like Stink's little gap, there's roots underneath - they simply need some loving care and some time.

Any of you out there want to grow something new - writing course perhaps? I'm offering my "How to Get Paid to Write" class again. I normally charge $149 but will charge faithful readers only $119. You'll learn a ton - promise.

Meanwhile, take care of yourselves. Don't forget to brush. Don't forget to floss. And remember - losses one day, growth the next.
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After mass this morning, sandwiched in between a doctor appointment and a dentist visit for yet another decaying tooth (note to ya'll... always brush your teeth... even if it seems so much better to crash in your bed with a giant Diet Coke and a bucket of Reeses) I ducked into a local grocery store to follow up on school donations for Friday's Kids' Dash.

The cashier with the mohawk and tattoos told me, yet again, that the accountant was not there.

"When will she back?" I inquired of her.

"Tomorrow," she grunted, quickly turning back to her coupon and condom scanning.

Tomorrow... tomorrow... the sun will come out tomorrow..., right? "I have TWO days to get fifty more dollars worth of gift cards for our school," I grumbled to myself.

I simply smiled and thanked her. It's not her fault, of course.

On my way out the door, a very dirty man asked me what I needed the money for. I told him.

"L.A. schools..." he muttered. "It keeps getting worse, doesn't it?"

I nodded my head. "Well, at least my kids are getting an education," I smiled. "How are you?" I asked back.

He must have been pleased that I asked, for he followed me out to the parking lot and pulled out a wallet loaded with about 500 dollar bills. (No joke.)

"Take a dollar," he offered, waving a five at me.

"I can't do that!" I said, staring at his dusty car and ripped seat covers.

"Sure you can!" he offered me. "My wife and I like to help out."

I paused, at which he added, "For the kids."

I took it and said thank you.

It was indeed a reminder that giving, no matter how little we have, is such a gift. And while the money will be given to my kids' school, clearly it is I that is getting an education.
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