Dear President to Be:

Did you know you are about to run our country in a few days? Just a friendly reminder in case you are still busy putting away Christmas decorations.

Also, your mother-in-law is going to be moving in. (And some of you thought the economic crisis was a killer.)

You're in for a rough road. And while I might laugh at some right winged KFI hosts who referred to your gathering with conservative journalists last week as yet another example of elitists who kiss each others’ behinds then go home to bathe in buckets of arugala while "massaging their man boobs" (come on, that's pretty funny) I still like you. You have ideals. You have hope. And personally, I just don’t want to think of you tweetering your presidential nipples. You go right ahead and put that energy into the budget, 'kay?

I can’t offer much more than my support and great love for this country. But I can offer you a rocking dinner if ever you’re in Chatsworth. Preferably on Tuesday – that’s when we eat tacos. Bring Michelle. And the kids – Stink and Pip are fun to hang with and make awesome play dates.

But don’t bring the dog. My husband is pretty anal about his lawn. I don't care if it's historical feces - it's still crap.

Tips from a mom who runs her own small country in the burbs? Get full of rest, not full of yourself. Try not to let the negative turkeys get you down. Go on and pardon few turkeys while you're at it. But don't make us stop eating them. You enjoy your arugala, let me enjoy my silly Thanksgiving traditions.

My predictions for the next few years? Oprah will get a condo in Washington, some of us are going to have to tighten our belts financially (which will help us tighten our literal belts also) there’s going to be some new jokes on Letterman, and the best drama on TV is going to be on CNN.

In closing, if you’re interested in being a guest poster on Pass the Zoloft, we’d love to have ya. But I'm a tough editor. If you can't be funny,you're gonna have to go back to your White House gig.



More of my writing can be found daily at BabyCenter and Good Housekeeping.